


Time Out of Mind

by Syntaniel



Category: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers | Ronin Warriors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:37:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3603561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syntaniel/pseuds/Syntaniel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a point of view study of the end of the first season and the second. Forgiveness is easy. Expiation is hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Battle - Ryo

  1.                     The Battle - Ryo



 

We started out so hopeful.

I don’t even know if I can say how it came to… this. I only know that we had all the promise of desire and hope and power and determination.

But it wasn’t enough. **_I_** wasn’t strong enough. I’ve never been strong enough.

 

They sacrificed themselves for me. My friends. They gave up their own lives, their freedom, in order to keep me alive.

They should have let me die.

That’s all I can think of now, floating in between unconsciousness and awake. It would have been so much better if they had let me die so they could live. At least then, even though the sacrifice wouldn’t be worth anything, the living at least would be deserving. They have families. There are people waiting for them to come home. I have no one. Even my home has been destroyed. Even should I survive this fight, all there is for me is a return to face the stares of the ones they will no longer be with. Because of me. The blame in their eyes will be mine.

Perhaps it is a good thing I do not have to worry much about surviving.

 

“Kill him!” They call so insistently.

They can’t realize what they’re asking. When they scream at me to kill him what they’re really saying is “Kill us!” I can’t do it. I can’t lose them. I can’t kill them. They’re all I have. They don’t understand. None of them. They have no idea what it is to be so alone.

Can’t they see my tears? Can’t they hear the desperation in my voice? I would do anything, anything, to stop Tulpa. Except kill them. I cannot bear to be alone again. Not like that. It’s their fault. Before I might have been able to do it. But then they had to go and show me how wonderful things could be when you’re not alone. Even in the midst of constant fighting, they showed me what it was to live instead of merely survive.

I don’t know what to do. I cannot sacrifice them, not even for the sake of the world. They are worth the world. I never told them how much their friendship meant to me. Now, I may never get the chance.

If I were only smarter… or stronger… All this is my fault. I couldn’t hold out against Tulpa. I rushed them here, they were taken trying to help me, I can’t think of a way to save them. I can’t… _It’s all my fault_ … That’s all I can think of as the full force of my friend’s powers rushes over me, one after another: _It’s all my fault. I’ve killed them. And the world with them_. I only pray they never learn what he has made them do. I pray they never learn how sorely I have failed. I am sorry, my friends. It is not enough, but I am sorry.

 

My friends. I have to fight tears as I see you again. I am here, my friends. At least I can be with you in death. We can share eternity.

I am so tired. You all look so peaceful, lying there, sleeping. So peaceful… You have earned your sleep. Surely, I have earned some small measure of peace as well? Oh God, tell me I have. I cannot bear to be alone again. Unworthy as I am, I will lay with you here. We shall be together for eternity. I so want to rest…

 

I should have known better. If I had been… If I had been truly one of them I would have known. I never should have given up so easily. And give up I had. But the Ancient wouldn’t let me rest. He apologized to me, the most unworthy of them all, the one who has brought us to this point of utter loss. And Tulpa’s taunting… That was what brought me to my senses. The undeniable knowledge that, no matter how wrong it was, I was the only one left. And if I gave up, humanity would die. I have let them, my friends, down so many times… I do not want to let them down with my death.

That means I must fight. But I don’t have the strength. It bled out of me… But they’re lending me their strength again. Even from so far away as the abyss, even after I have let them down so badly, my friends are helping me. It is enough to steel my determination. Tulpa will pay for robbing the world of them. He will pay for everything.

It’s funny. Tulpa asked if I was looking for forgiveness… But I know that I won’t find that anywhere. Some sins are too great to forgive. Some sins can only be expiated. And other sins, like Tulpa’s, can only be condemned. I will be the instrument of his damnation.

And after the battle… I cannot say. But there are many ways to die.

 

“What do you believe in, Ryo of the Wildfire?” Tulpa taunts me from his heights. “Yourself?”

 _If only you knew_ , I think wryly, dodging yet another energy bomb. I cannot run much longer. I cannot stall anymore. There is no longer any choice. I must do it. So be it. Let their deaths be on my head then. I hope humanity understands the sacrifice that is being made for them. I gather a burning breath into my singed lungs and bellow up at him, loud enough that I’m sure he hears, “I believe in my friends! I believe in the Warriors!”

This is it. I do it now or everyone dies. My soul is too small a price to pay for all humanity. But if that’s what’s demanded, then I shall pay and gladly. And maybe my soul can pay all their debts. Let it be my expiation. If there be any faults left, any debts, let me pay them and gladly. I volunteer.

I gather up the power in me, I call the power from all the world. I can feel it surging through me, around me, above me. My lungs ache and burn; I care not. My body strains with the effort of the calling and tenses almost beyond endurance; it matters not. I call every bit of power that I can from every corner of the earth.

It’s not enough. I know that as surely as I know my own name.

It’s not enough.

“My friends!” I cry out in despair. Even now I cannot save them. I am ready but I cannot. Not without their help. The five Ronins fight together, or they die together. I am on my knees with the strain of the power I have summoned, so much but still not enough.

“Rowan! Cye! Kento! Sage! Help me! I cannot…!” I scream their names into the night. I taste the warm metallic tang of blood in my mouth, so familiar. My body is numb. They are dead. I killed them. They cannot help me. I have failed.

But just when I prepare to throw what I have, do what damage I can, I see them. Their lights, their powers. They have sent them to me. The power hits me with the force of a tidal wave. I hear their voices in my mind, calling out the names of power - “Wisdom”, “Justice”, “Life”, and “Trust.”

They have given me everything. The pain of summoning surrounds me, permeates every cell. I cannot bear it. But I must! Their sacrifice will not be for nothing! “Virtue!”

New armor is surrounding me. It’s hot. So hot. A million times hotter than the armor of the Wildfire. And the pain… It takes much to summon the Wildfire. But this is beyond all the pain and the stress I have ever known. The Wildfire will never be difficult again.

I am girded in new armor. And it’s the strongest thing I have ever felt. It shines so bright, it almost blinds me. It’s magnificent. The combination of all our armors, all five in one.

 _Why me? Why give this power, this honor, to me? Why wasn’t it given to one of them?_ But there is no time to wonder that now. Tulpa is shocked. He cannot believe what has happened. My friends have defied him, even from inside him. They have denied him the true power of their armors so long as I live.

“Tulpa! You will ravage this world no longer!” The words are almost torn from my lungs by the strength of my fury. The injustice, the irony, the pain is all building up in me to a righteous anger with a strength that I have never before felt. Not even when my parents died. “You will pay for what you’ve done to them!” The blame is his, even if the true failure is mine.

Yuli’s parents, whom I have failed to save.

Annubis, a friend I didn’t even get the chance to know.

My friends, whom I’ve killed.

The human race, who my failure would damn.

Tulpa must pay. If I am the last than I shall take every ounce of their pain out of his hide. And then I will destroy him.

I am amazed at how calmly I come to that decision. I feel almost detached as I dodge Tulpa’s next strike. I am no longer in my body. The fury has risen and honed itself to a fine point of calmness. It is a weapon as great as the armor itself. He cannot win. He will not win. I will destroy him for what he has done. I will make sure he will never take from another human being what he’s taken from me. Between our combined powers and the strength of my rage, I will triumph. The rage has closed the gap.

I almost laugh. It was Tulpa who did this. It was he who gave me the power to destroy him. By taking my friends, he has made me the most dangerous thing alive: a man with nothing to lose. He has created his own destroyer.

I am done playing. When his next strike comes, I do not dodge but raise my swords. The look on Tulpa’s face when my small swords hold off his mighty weapon is almost enough to break through my self-control. I can feel hysteria eating at the edges of my consciousness but the sharpness of my rage and the fury of my calmness hold it off for now. “I am done!” I hiss in his face and for the first time I see something flicker in his soulless eyes. Something like fear.

That’s good. Let him taste the bitterness of fear that he has forced on so many others. Let him learn what it is to be afraid. “It is time for you to pay.” My voice is barely above a whisper, the damage to my lungs is great. But he hears me and I see his skeletal face go pale. I do not wish to know what is on my face that makes him so afraid. His grip on his sword loosens slightly and I push his arm away with ease.

I raise my sword, taking aim carefully and deliberately. I do not know how I know but my attack is ready. And I will wait no longer. The world will have its revenge. Justice will be served. “Fervor Flare!” I see blood fly from my mouth as I spit out the words but that doesn’t matter now. Because I can see the power gathering in my sword; it glows with the light of a thousand suns. As the power moves from me into my sword, I feel blood running down the side of my face, blood oozing from one ear. And yet I laugh in triumph. Because the power has been gathered and it is so bright, even I cannot look at it.

But I can feel it and as I leap into the air, I can hear a million million voices holding their breath.

 


	2. The Price - Ryo

Darkness. Darkness and cold and pain. My body will not obey me. I force my eyes to open; it takes all my strength. My friends! They are beside me. We are… floating. From the corner of my eyes, I see sparks from some great explosion above us but that doesn’t matter. They are here! They are safe! They’re alive! And they are smiling at me. The joy bubbling in me brings tears to my eyes. I am too weak to hold them back. The salt water stings on my cheeks. But the joy still comes. It is enough to force my lips to smile, no matter how much they want to protest the movement.

They are safe. They are smiling at me. I am still smiling when the blackness envelops me once more.

 

Rest. I can see it in front of me. That gentle soft light that means rest. I move towards it; it encompasses my sight. The closer I get, the more the pain recedes. That is good. I am very tired. I would like to rest.

But wait… what is that? As if from a distance, I feel pain blossom in my chest, just beside the breastbone. What is going on? I cannot fight anymore. I have nothing left to give.

But what is that? Wait. I stop moving. That is my friend’s voices I hear. They… they are crying. But why do they cry? They were smiling a minute ago. They were happy. Why are they crying now?

I open eyes I hadn’t known were closed and I can see myself. I am lying on a rooftop in the city. Pain blossoms in my chest again as Kento strikes it with precision accuracy. Why? I cry out. Why are you doing this? Are you taking your revenge on me now?

If that is the case I will be silent. I deserve whatever they want to do to me. But no… There are tears in their eyes. They’re gathered around me so close, so tightly, just far enough away that I can breathe.

It is then that I realize what is going on. The absence of the pain in my lungs gives it away now that I am aware. I am dead, dying. Or so close that the distinction makes no difference. Oh why are they trying to bring me back? I do nothing but fail them.

But I can hear them now. They are begging with me, pleading with me not to die. Oh my friends, can’t you see how much better this would be? For everyone? I have cost you all so much. No one will mourn me. Please…

But they are ordering now and I hang my head in weary resignation. All right, my friends. Forbid me now to die. I will obey you. I can deny you nothing. I take one last look back at that warm light but it is already receding, like it knew my decision before I did. I am rushing toward that rooftop now. I close my eyes. I do not want to see.

My body jerks as I return to myself with all the force of the fall. I feel pain so overwhelming I cannot even cry out. It has saved me that dignity at least.

I hear my name, cried out by six voices and a tiger’s growl. Again I force leaden eyes to open. _I must get used to the pain_. They are over me with such anxious faces. I want to say something but my injuries will not allow such a feat.

“Welcome back.” Sage grins through a curtain of tears.

“You did it, Ryo.” Kento cries with pride in his voice.

“Tulpa’s gone.” That was Mia, I think. I cannot see her and moving my head seems to be beyond me.

Rowan’s heavily accented voice comes down to me next. “Don’t scare us like that, man!”

White Blaze roars in approval and joy. I hear Yuli beside me somewhere, but he too is out of my limited field of vision.

“I’m glad you came back.” Cye says lightly, his young voice amazingly soft.

His words break something inside me and the hysteria bubbles up, overwhelming me. Despite the pain, despite my injuries, and the protests of what is left of my dignity, I start to laugh. And I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. I cannot stop.

They are laughing with me but they do not understand. They cannot understand.

They do not know what it took to come back.


	3. Afterward - Cye

## I.                    Afterward - Cye

 

Ryo has been sleeping for a week.

Nothing has woken him. Not sirens of those trying to rebuild their lives, not Yuli’s enthusiastic play, not even our failed attempts at being quiet. He’s slept through it all. If it wasn’t for the sign of virtue that still glows comfortingly whenever one of us comes into the room, we would have panicked long ago. We bandaged his wounds as best we could and figured it was best to just let him sleep. But still we worry…

We lost him on the roof. It was as simple and as horrible as that. I think we started to recognize it as we floated down. When he smiled at us, we were overjoyed. But then his eyes closed. And they didn’t open again. As soon as our feet touched the solidity of the roof, we popped our protective bubbles and flew to his side. He wasn’t breathing. He had no pulse.

I learned then what it was to feel one’s heart stop. I knelt at his side – he couldn’t be dead, not he who I had admired so much, not the man I thought of as a brother. Friend and family; I did not want to lose him. I summoned my power, what there was of it, and tried to heal him like I had before. But even the power of Life could do nothing. He simply had too many wounds. Death had taken too strong a hold.

I fell back, shocked. My power had never been inadequate before. But after so long a fight with Tulpa, I didn’t have enough energy left. I didn’t have enough _. It not fair_ , I thought dully. _The hero isn’t supposed to die._

As soon as he realized that I couldn’t save Ryo, Kento barged in and pushed everyone aside. The first time he struck Ryo’s chest, I heard sounds of strangled protest come from the rest of us. Then the second time, we realized what he was doing. CPR. If my power could not save Ryo, then Kento was determined to do it the old fashioned way.

But Ryo wasn’t responding. Kento breathed for him and the red chest moved. But when Kento stopped, it sank and did not move again. We were babbling by then. Panic had taken away our control of our mouths and we begged Ryo, pleaded with him not to leave us, to fight whatever darkness was trying to overwhelm him. He had fought Tulpa so bravely with so much strength; he had to have enough left to fight off death itself. He could not die.

That was _fear_ \- in its purest, most horrifying form: the firm conviction that something must **not** be combined with the surety that it will.

Despite all our efforts, still he did not breathe and the cold skin under my fingers was still. I stared down at him for a while; minutes, seconds, I do not know. All I saw was red. The color of Wildfire. Ryo’s color. The color of his blood. It was so red, just like his armor, like it was a part of him, like he was always destined to be hurt. The world got blurry as tears fell from my eyes.

We were all crying. Sage and Rowan were swaying on their feet, like in another moment they’d fall to their knees on the roof. And Rowan’s face was desperately pale. Even Kento was almost doubled over on his knees beside Ryo.

This couldn’t happen. That certain conviction ran through me and steeled my voice. The others started as I spoke, with a force in my words that even I hadn’t known I possessed. I ordered him not to die. I told him he wasn’t allowed to leave us. Not now. Not when he’d saved the world. After the shock faded, the others joined me. We didn’t care that it was too late. Overwhelming sorrow would come soon but for right now we felt a power in us. Surely the universe owed us, and him, one thing. Well, we wanted his life. That was it, our reward. We wanted him to live.

We ordered him not to die. Again and again until our voices grew hoarse with the sheer impossibility of our desire. He had been gone too long.

But then, impossibly, miraculously, his body twitched and our words died in our throats. He twitched and then he jerked, shooting up with a great gasp of breath. He had come back! That was enough to start celebration and joy overwhelmed the sorrow that had begun to cast its pall on us. There were shouts of sheer exultation and I heard the others say “Welcome back!” and “You did it!” and other things, just to hide the force of their relief.

Then he was looking at me, with fathomless eyes, and I swallowed my previous panic and choked out, “I’m glad you came back.”

His eyes flashed with pain but before I could even start to worry, he was laughing. He laughed and he laughed and he laughed, despite how much it must have hurt him in his injured state. And we laughed with him. We were alive. We had won. Everything else seemed academic.

 

He tried so hard to stay awake for us. He kept it up for a little bit, although he couldn’t stand, essentially he couldn’t move. How his eyes glinted with shame when he found that out! I didn’t understand. How could one be ashamed of having fought so very hard and giving so very much? But Kento lifted him up like he was nothing and gave him enough dignity that he draped his arm over his shoulder and helped him that way. Just like Sage had during the fight…

It wasn’t fair that Ryo got hurt so very often.

But we could see the tiredness in his eyes, in the veil that kept trying to drop. He held it off with sheer stubborn will a long time. But I saw it and once I had seen it, the rest saw it as well. But still he refused to sleep, protesting in a barely audible voice that we had fought as hard as he. And while it was true that we had fought, and we were all very tired, none of us was being threatened with sheer exhaustion. None of us had faced Tulpa alone. None of us had come back from the dead.

He was only half awake when we reached Professor Kochi’s… Mia’s house. He was still conscious but I don’t even think he realized where we were. It was the loosest definition of the word. We laid him on a bed and he protested, but it was weak, like the mewling of a newborn kitten. White Blaze jumped up on the bed, making it groan and pop in protest, and curled his body up next to Ryo’s. That was good; his skin had been so cold. Finally, the comfort, the warmth, and the safety seemed to overwhelm even his stubbornness. “Sleepy.” He murmured as his eyes started to close. “Said no to rest. But sleepy…”

“Go to sleep, Ryo.” I told him as the other’s crept quietly out of the room. “Go to sleep. Everything is okay. You saved us all.” I waited until his eyes were closed and his breathing evened out. “Sleep well, my friend.”

 

I swear, an hour hasn’t gone by without one of us checking on him. But he’s slept on. I’ve been feeding my power into him, as much as he’ll take. But he seems to be fighting me. Like he always does. Only that once did he let me heal him. Unless it’s an emergency, he refuses to let me ‘waste my power’ as he says. It appears that even unconscious he holds that opinion.

Damn it! I want to give him my power. I want to do something for him. I want to heal those appalling wounds. Many have healed; Ronin power speeds up the process. But they are still far too numerous for my comfort. And I am not the only one who winces when they see one of the formidable red gashes.

My thoughts trail off as I detect movement on the bed. I still and wait anxiously to see if he’ll wake up. We’ve been waiting so long. He moves more, twitches that make his limbs jump. Then the twitches turn into thrashing and I start to get to my feet.

“No!” It’s Ryo’s voice. I see his mouth open and the word fly out. But his eyes are still closed; he is dreaming. “This isn’t possible!” No. Not dreaming. The pain in his voice, the confusion; it’s a nightmare.

“Ryo, wake up. You’re safe.” I shake him but he doesn’t wake. His thrashing only becomes the worse.

“My friends! How? He’s controlling you! No!”

What? The force of his words knocks me back into the chair. What is he talking about? I’m still repeating his name; over and over, “Ryo” leaves my lips.

“How can he use their attacks against me?” Ryo murmurs as he thrashes about some more, body jerking in ways that had to hurt.

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. What happened out on that battlefield? I search my memory, but I cannot say. I only remember fighting, fighting so very hard to control Tulpa.

“I cannot kill you.” There are tears coming from Ryo’s closed eyes.

“Please Ryo.” I beg. But my voice makes no difference this time.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t smart enough. All my fault.” His thrashings have stilled but the heartbroken words pierce through me. “I cannot bear this. I cannot be alone again.” His whole body shudders as he sighs in his sleep, “Rest. Please let me rest. I will be with my friends. Let me…”

I lay a hand on his shoulder to shake him once more but his entire body spasms at my touch. “Ryo!”

“I am so weak. I am not fit.” There is disgust and self revulsion in his hoarse voice and I flinch from it. “I should have known better. But I knew enough… no forgiveness… not for me… not for you either, Tulpa.” I stumble back into the chair, stunned, certain that nothing I can do will wake him from this nightmare. “You will face me, Tulpa. I can’t die until I kill you first.” He sounds so grim, even unconscious. I shudder; he meant every word.

He coughs slightly and I pray that wakes him but his limp body slumps back on the bed, thrashing once more. “I am all that is left. But I am not enough.” It’s a sob. “My friends!” the cry is choked off by his own tears. I do not think I can bear to listen to this. But he is not yet done. “I have nothing left to lose.” He murmurs it over and over again like a talisman. His body is stiff, with remembered pain, with present pain. “Ah!” He cries out. “So hot! So hot! Burning!”

I grasp onto his hand, hoping that some human contact will save him from this nightmare. His hand grips onto mine like it’s a lifeline, or one of his swords. I am surprised at the strength in his hand. “I can fight no longer. I have nothing left to give. Rest... Please rest. Let me die.” His body sighs again and his grip on my hand loosens. But then his face screws up, even in sleep, “Why do they call me back? Why do they want someone worthless like me? Why?” The despair in his voice tears at me.

His hand slides from mine and his voice is resignation personified, “Very well. I will not rest. I will come back, my friends. For you. I will…” His voice trials off and I see he has lapsed into complete unconsciousness once more.

I stagger from the room like a drunkard. I cannot feel the tears on my cheeks. That was no dream. It wasn’t even a nightmare. It was… memory. The pain almost doubles me over where I stand. It drives me to my knees.

So much pain. Oh God, we didn’t know. We didn’t… It’s not enough. It’s not enough. Everything clicks in my mind and at last my power shows me what happened in that last battle when Life was so nearly defeated. I almost killed him. My tong made the gash on his chest… my super wave smasher… I’m going to be sick.

I barely make it to the bathroom before I retch up the contents of my stomach and then some. Sage finds me there, hunched over on the floor, sobbing. I vaguely hear him call for the others and they’re there in an instant. No one’s gone far with Ryo like he is.

            “Has something happened to Ryo?” It’s everyone’s first question. No one can bear to look.

            I shake my head; it’s not what they think.

            “Then what’s wrong, Cye? Are you sick?” I can’t tell who’s speaking anymore. I feel arms try and lift me up but I can’t help them. I can’t do anything but sob. And in the end I am back on the floor in a huddled mass.

            “We almost killed him.” I manage to sob out.

            “What? What are you talking about?” Their questions ring in my ears.

            “We almost killed Ryo. Tulpa…” The name brings disgust to all their faces. “Tulpa made us attack him. Those injuries… so very many of them… they’re because of us.”

            The look of disgust on their faces quickly melts into horror. They cannot believe it. They will not believe it. That angers me. I grab onto Rowan fiercely; we are chained together now. “It’s true.” It’s a cross between a sob and a hiss. I stare into Rowan’s eyes and flood him with my power. “Look for yourself. You are truth! See it! Show them the truth!” The combination between the power of life and the power of truth make him glow for a moment and I see his eyes widen in horror as he watches that final battle.

            I see it in his eyes, watch it all over again. The light spreads to us all and Kento and Sage stiffen as they see it too.

            When the light fades at last, we are all on the cold tile floor. The others look green or pale or both. No one can look at anyone else. We are all too ashamed.

“We didn’t know…” Someone chokes out at last.

“We’ve hurt him so badly.” I whisper. “More than we ever knew. And still he thinks us…” I can’t even say it.

“How can we ever make it up to him?” Kento whispers, justice incarnate, always thinking of the balance.

“I don’t think we can.” Rowan responds, his voice as quiet and pained as I have ever heard. The memories of what he did make our sacrifices seem like trifles.

“Yes, we can.” Sage whispers. Three heads, including mine, snap up to meet his eyes. “We can be here for him. We can be his family. Just like he always wanted. We can be his friend.”

“Like we would do anything else.” Rowan scoffs slightly but there is the start of a smile on his face. And that small smile seems to be contagious because it spreads to us all. It’s the symbol of a pact. A pact of friendship. A pact of brotherhood.

 

It’s been two more days since we learned the truth. Ryo hasn’t stirred in all that time. Kento came in this morning and dragged me from the room where I had been trying once again to heal what was left of Ryo’s wounds. Those badges of red are going to drive me mad.

They all demanded I take a rest and get outside for a bit; apparently my color worried them. Seeing as I didn’t have much choice, I gave in and Sage went to sit with Ryo. We haven’t been able to leave him alone.

Kento and I play ball in the warm sunlight and I breathe in the fresh air with joy. This is being alive. And as my power surges comfortably through me, dormant but never asleep, I know that Ryo will be all right. We’re alive. We’re all alive. And we survived. We can do anything. Together.


	4. The Waking - Sage

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here. Hours, minutes, days. Just sitting and watching him. He hasn’t woken. He hasn’t even moved since the nightmare Cye witnessed a few days ago. We don’t know what to do. We’re not even sure why he hasn’t woken up. There are so many possibilities. The power of the armor drains so when used like that… So many wounds…

We had to throw Cye out of here. He was torturing himself. The wound he… Tulpa gave Ryo has turned into a scar. But even with our hyper healing powers, the scar is permanent. I’m not sure Cye will ever forgive himself. Especially since he figured out how close he came to Ryo’s heart. He saw, with his power, gouges on Ryo’s ribs from his tong. His attack cut him to the bone.

I know how he feels. My broadsword left the gash on Ryo’s back. My Thunderbolt Cut left the bruises that purple his entire back side. We have all found reasons to despise ourselves. Where Tulpa could not touch him, our attacks nearly destroyed him. Our shame is written on his body.

If he would just wake up, wake up and tell us he forgives us our horrible mistake. That might make it better. But when will he wake up? Will he wake up? Oh God, I will not cry again. He scared us so badly on that rooftop. All that blood… Damn. I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. I know better. Really I do. I know in my head that it wasn’t our fault, that Tulpa was controlling us. I know that in my head. Unfortunately not in my heart.

To know that we almost killed him… The pain we caused him when we asked him to strike… He was begging us… For a moment I’m thankful he’s not awake to see me wiping my tears on my sleeve. It’s ironic. We all feel so guilty that no one of us can sit with him for long, but no one can bear to be long away either.

If only he’d wake up.

 

I must have fallen asleep in the chair because it’s dark when I open my eyes again. My eyes are scratchy and woolen, nothing new. I rub at them for a moment and sit up, running a hand through my hair. For some reason, I’m immensely grateful that there isn’t a mirror in this room.

I glance over at the bed; no change. I wonder absently how much longer we can keep doing this. I realize I’m the one who said we should let him sleep it off but we can’t take much more. “Please Ryo.” I whisper, startled by the sound of my own voice. “We need you.”

He still doesn’t move. If he wanted revenge for his hurts, he’s certainly getting it now.

 

I am reading in the morning light when the sounds start. The first time I hear the short grunt, I pass it off as a byproduct of emotional stress. After all, it’s been thirteen days of this… stasis. But then I hear them again – short grunts of stress. I whip around to the bed. He’s moving!

His eyes are still closed. I wait for a moment, holding my breath, and his limbs whip the bed. But he doesn’t open his eyes. He’s dreaming again. I rush over to his side, shaking him, knowing it will be futile, but needing to try it anyway. There’s always a chance… But not this time. He dreams on, regardless of my attempted interference. I sit in to wait, and listen. I know I shouldn’t, this is like eavesdropping… Listening in on something as intensely private as someone’s dreams. But I have to know… I have to know if he blames us. If we hurt him too badly too be healed. I mean, I know what he thought of us then, but now, after so much time in whatever dream/nightmare world he’s been in… Now what?

He’s mumbling now and I strain to make out the words, “I can’t lose. No! I have to defeat him. He cannot be allowed to win…”

Tulpa. I know it as sure as I know life. God, will Ryo be haunted by him forever?

Ryo tosses and turns on the bed, moves that must hurt his battered body. But he keeps on, moaning and mumbling, “Please, someone help me. I can’t let him win.”

I can’t take this. I can’t just watch this. “Ryo! Ryo! It’s over. We won! You defeated Tulpa!” It appears that mentioning Tulpa’s name was a huge tactical error on my part. Because as soon as the hated name leaves my lips, Ryo’s thrashing becomes ten times worse, the sheets are tangled around him in almost a stranglehold. I fear he’s going to do serious damage to himself.

“No! I won’t let you destroy me. My friends are counting on me!” He’s almost shouting now. Any louder and the others will be joining us. Maybe they could help. Maybe together we could keep him from these horrible dreams.

“NO!” Ryo bolts up with a gasp and my heart flies into my throat. His eyes are open!

“Ryo?” I try to keep my voice at its normal placid calm but I suspect he can hear the fear imbued in it.

He’s gasping for air, eyes darting about wildly. I can see the confusion in his gaze, the desperation. He’s gulping in air like there’s none left in the world and I’m more than a little worried that he’s doing damage to his already wounded lungs. “It’s all right.” And this time I manage to keep my voice gentle. “It’s Sage. You’re safe. We’re at Mia’s house. Tulpa is gone. You’re safe.”

Finally my words seem to get through. “Sage?” His voice is a harsh croak.

I hand him a glass of water from the pitcher we’ve kept ready, just in case. “Yes. It’s me. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Ryo gulps some water then his eyes are back on me, piercing in their intensity, “Is everyone all right?”

The question almost kills me where I sit. After all this, after all the blood and the pain, and all the waiting, his first question is to ask if we’re all right? Humility descends on me like a sledgehammer. I cannot seem to put together a sentence so I nod and hope it will be enough.

Apparently it is. He smiles and sinks back into the pillows slightly, “That’s good. And the Dynasty?”

I’m confused; I don’t quite understand what’s going on. This is not how I expected his waking to be. “The jury’s still out. We can’t say for sure. Only time will tell.” It’s all I can manage to say; that I am sure of, if nothing else.

Ryo sighs with relief and then winces slightly. “Are you okay?” The words fly from my mouth instantly.

“Just dandy.” He says with that rakish smile that makes so many underestimate him.

I want to say something; I want to thank him for everything he did; I want to pound it into his head that he’s never to scare us like that again. But the words stick in my throat and before I can say any of that he’s sitting up again and trying to swing his legs off the bed. “What are you doing?” The words come out sharper than I intended and he looks at me with wary eyes.

“I’m hungry.” He cocks his head slightly, “I thought I’d go get something to eat.”

“Oh.” _Idiot._ “Yeah. I guess you would be pretty hungry. You’ve been asleep a long time.”

He looks at me curiously and with a shade of trepidation, “How long, Sage?”

Oops. Wrong thing to say. Now he’s all worried. But that look on his face is the one that brooks no argument. “A week or so.” He gives me something near a glare and I relent, “13 days.”

“13…!” He looks horrified. The emotion is enough to get his feet on the floor.

“It’s all right…” I start to say but he shakes his head curtly.

“No it’s not.” He plants his hands on the bed determinedly. I see his muscles tense and tremble and he starts to get up. I would help him but I don’t think he would let me. “I didn’t want…” He cuts himself off, falling back to the bed. And I have the sinking suspicion that his mouth snapped shut to keep in a cry.

“Don’t!” I cry, putting out my hands. I can’t bear to see him hurt again. “Let me help you.” My hands are still out as I approach him and I see his eyes widen and his muscles tense before he nods, slowly.

_Oh my God, he’s afraid of me._ The realization hits me like a sledgehammer; if it hadn’t been for the power of Wisdom I might have been spared it. But my power opens my eyes where they had been closed before and my hands fall with the knowledge it grants me. _He’s afraid…_ Oh God, please no. Anything but that. But it’s there in his eyes. I can’t blame him. We hurt him so badly. It was our faces, our voices, that summoned the power that almost killed him.

But he’s trusting me now. He nodded and he’s sitting there, resignedly waiting for me to help him up. I could see it in that nod, him consciously deciding to trust me.

“Come on. Let’s get you something to eat.” I lift up as gently as I can and am gratified by his small smile. He’s trying to help me, he’s trying to do as much as he can. He’s trying to trust. He’s walking now, leaning on me only a little. “You’ll be right as rain again in no time.”

He nods, but it’s a dutiful nod, “You bet, Sage. You bet.”

 


	5. Doubts - Mia

How foolish can they all be? Can’t they see how they’ve hurt him? Maybe not. They’re so desperate to keep him from being hurt again. That last time was almost too much for them. Can’t Ryo see that? He couldn’t then… Perhaps he is just too used to being the sacrifice… That last time…

 

It was so close… Maybe I should have stopped the others. I knew how Ryo would react if he found out. It was just… I hadn’t expected him to wake up; I hadn’t expected him to be so stubborn, to try and do so much so soon. I should have stopped them. They never should have gone without him. They should have run, hid… anything.

I’m being foolish, I know. The Ronin Warriors hide from nothing, Ryo least of all. Oh Father, we should have known how much it would hurt. You should have seen the look in his eyes when Sarenbou taunted him on that balcony. When he realized his friends had left him behind.

At first, I thought it was a good idea. I’m ashamed to say I may have even been the one who propagated it. But you should have seen their faces. They so wanted to keep him safe, to protect him. I have never heard Cye so determined as when he said that they’d “cover him”. And the blaze in Rowan’s eyes just from thinking that his best friend was in danger… I thought that tiny spark of fury would be enough. The looks in their eyes when Sage said that Ryo was now a target should have been enough power. Kento actually started! And when they left they looked so brave…

But Ryo looked brave too, before he fell to Tulpa. They always look most determined just before they’re struck down. I should have known from that alone. But I didn’t and so I let them go. And I stayed behind.

Sometimes I think that’s the worst part of everything: I can never help them enough. Granted I research information for them, but I am no use in battle. At best I am in the way. But I can’t stay away. Like that horrible night, when Sarenbou came for Ryo.

I had watched the Warriors go and White Blaze was watching Ryo with almost religious devotion. But the night was not peaceful like I had hoped. And the Warriors did not quickly return like I had feared. I had thought Ryo was sleeping until I heard the window shatter.

Ryo couldn’t even shout without wincing. I saw it. I saw when he flinched. And Sarenbou’s taunting… it could not have struck any deeper if he’d tried. The look of betrayal that passed over Ryo’s face was frightening. I’m glad that the others did not see it.

But then he was off, no matter what I said, he would go and he wouldn’t stop. They were in danger and no matter what he was going to save them. Even if it cost him his life. Hang it all, I wish he wouldn’t treat his life like that! Like it was something to throw away. He shouldn’t be throwing it away! He should be holding onto it for dear… life. He should be enjoying it, having fun with it.

But Ryo… Ryo didn’t seem to realize that. He didn’t understand. He still doesn’t. He has seen so much pain, been through so much, that I don’t think he knows what peace is. He’s lost so much in his lifetime… That’s what drove him on that night. I’m sure of it. The love he has for his friends is his greatest strength. And his greatest weakness. The loss of them paralyzes him, any problems between them and him wounds him far deeper than they realize.

We should have known.

But he should have known as well. He should have known how much they cared about him. They sacrificed themselves for him in that battle with Tulpa and when Sarenbou came they did everything they could to protect him. When he went to the battle I followed no matter how much I knew I should not. I had to see. If they were going to die I wanted to be there.

They tried to send him away. They yelled and screamed at him to go. And they yelled all the more desperately when Sarenbou informed them what only Ryo had known: that the use of his armor would most likely cost him his life. But he would not leave them. And he could not fight. His pain ripped the power away from the others. I have never heard screams such as those. I never want to hear screams like that again. So much pain…

He only had enough power for one strike. It was enough to defeat Sarenbou’s double, but it took so much. He saw me as the Inferno armor burned away. He called my name and the pleading in his eyes… He fell to his knees. Oh Father, I am glad he was not conscious then, he would so hate such a sign of submission. I ran to his side, but he wasn’t moving. None of them were. For one horrible moment, I thought they were all dead. After all, they were all still drained from that battle with Tulpa, Ryo most of all.

Sage and Rowan came to first. They had their armor on; it protected them more. It took them a moment to gather themselves. They roused Kento and Cye and then all four ran over to Ryo and I. By then I was crying too hard to be of any use. It was a miracle any of them survived, much less all of them.

Ryo wouldn’t let them help him. On that he was adamant. They watched, muscles strained with the effort of keeping still, as he struggled to his feet. He could barely walk, he was limping for gods sake! But he wouldn’t let them… That hurt them, but the look in his eyes, that was what really got to them. He didn’t say a word, but then, he didn’t have to. They could read the betrayal in his face.

I couldn’t stay in the house after that. I couldn’t stay there. The Warriors didn’t know what to say to him. They couldn’t apologize; they would do it again in an instant. And he… from the look on his face, he wasn’t in the mood to listen. Things weren’t any better when I got back. If anything they were tenser. A powder keg.

Cye made an attempt at lightening the mood and Ryo stormed out. They were so worried about him. And they flew out of the house when Yuli told them he’d left. They knew, before even I did, where he was going, what he was going to do. Oh Father, it was so close…

 

You would think they would learn. You would think that they would have known better this time. But they’re angry, angry with Ryo for going after Sarenbou, and angry with themselves for making him feel he had to prove something. And they’re hurt. Hurt that he left them out, hurt that he was blaming himself so very awfully. They’re getting a taste of what he had felt before, and it’s bitter indeed. They’re afraid of what he might do under the weight of such guilt.

But that still does not excuse what they just did. They were the ones who named him leader, and now they go and decide things without him? Don’t they know how much that hurts him? And Rowan… He’s Ryo’s best friend. He more than any of them should have known what this would do to Ryo. But he just stands there and lets Ryo run off.

And I’m watching it all. I watch as Ryo runs off, then I watch as Rowan winces before hanging his head. But he doesn’t go after his friend, he doesn’t call out to him, he just returns to the others to plan more.

But I can’t just leave it like that. I can’t just let him run off. I’m trying to follow him but he runs so fast. I can’t catch him. It takes me a while to find him, but eventually I figure out where he went. He’s at the lake. White Blaze has joined him, even injured he won’t leave Ryo alone.

Ryo’s panting at the edge of the lake, looking out over it with a fearsome mien. I think, for a moment, I’m frightened of him. He hasn’t noticed me behind him and something keeps me from moving closer. Instead I watch as he waits at the edge of the lake, obviously trying to calm himself. But it’s not working. Instead I can see him getting more and more restless, more intense, as every second passes. He’s almost vibrating with energy. As I watch in stunned fascination, he reaches for the edge of his sweater. He hesitates for a moment, the pain must be back. But he tries again and this time he rips the sweater off in one slightly jerky movement.

            My breath sucks in without my notice. He’s kept his torso fully covered since he woke, to save his friends from more pain and guilt. But now it seems he doesn’t care, or maybe he still believes himself alone, for he stands as tall as he can in the dying afternoon light. My eyes fill with tears as I behold his back, still covered in sickly multicolored bruises and the ragged scar from Sage’s attack along with a million other smaller, still healing injuries. _He shouldn’t be out of bed. He shouldn’t be alive_.

            Ryo is still oblivious to my presence and I keep watching, though I know I shouldn’t. The energy is still building in him. _He should put the sweater back on. It’s too cold…_ But just when I’m about to stand up and say something, his fists clench. A second later, he runs and plunges into the dark icy waters. I cry out as the water covers him, grasping him in its unforgiving grip. But then he resurfaces and I realize what he is doing.

He is testing himself. The training raft lies in the middle of the lake. Father, has he gone mad? He cannot possibly make it out there. What is he thinking?

My eyes tear up as the answer comes to me. He’s still trying to prove himself. For some reason he always thinks he’s not good enough. He doesn’t get it. It’s never occurred to him that he might be good enough even without the armor.

I don’t believe it. He’s reached the raft. But he hasn’t stopped there. Father in heaven, he’s turned around. He didn’t even stop to rest. He’s trying to make it the whole way without stopping.

It’s such a long way. I can’t do it at my best. And he’s so weak. My body starts involuntarily as he struggles against the waves. He’s not going to make it. I run out to the shore but I can’t swim well enough to battle this torrential water. I’m helpless. But White Blaze isn’t. The tiger leaps into the water and soon battles his way next to Ryo. He tries to work his way next to Ryo, who’s now almost overcome by the waves. “Come on, White Blaze.” I chant under my breath. “Save him.”

White Blaze is beside him now, nudging Ryo’s quivering body. But Ryo shakes his head, so vehemently I can see it from the beach, and I fear he might disconnect it from his body. “No, White Bla…” Water chokes off the last word and White Blaze nudges closer again but Ryo pushes him away, dunking himself momentarily. “I make it on my own! On my own or not at all!”

His stupid pride! It’s going to get him killed! I’m starting to realize why he hated being left behind. This helplessness… He’s going to drown out there and I’m going to watch. “RYO!” The sudden rawness of my throat tells me I screamed it. But the others have already left to search for the swords. _What good will the swords be if Ryo doesn’t live to use them?!_

His head jerks up and his eyes meet mine and I can read the pain and the need and command in them. “Oh Ryo.” I whisper and nod. There’s nothing I can do. I have to let him have his way. I have no choice.

He struggles against the water, fighting nature herself. The water covers his dark head several times but he surfaces each time, a pale ghostly face amidst the whitecaps. White Blaze has returned to shore and the soaked bandage on his neck shines in the twilight as he roars encouragement to his partner. Ryo’s arms are shaking with the strain; he is gulping air every time he comes up; his lips are blue from the cold. But then he’s in the shallow water. Father, he’s made it. He’s almost here. He crawls up on the shore on his hands and knees. The harsh rocks bite into his palms, I can see blood streak the outgoing waves. But he made it. He’s alive.

I rush out to help him but he shakes his head again. He’s starting to shiver. “I can do it myself.” The words are almost a hiss.

“Let me help you. Please.” I am begging but I don’t care.

“No.” He struggles to his feet, his face set in a grim mask to try and disguise the fear he cannot hide. “I will never be strong enough if I can’t…” His voice trails off. It’s taking all off his concentration to stand.

“At least go rest.” I don’t want to be cruel but if that’s the only way to help him…, “There’s nothing you can do.”

He flinches at my words and I can see in his eyes when he looks at me that he is deeply hurt. Forgive me, Ryo. Careless and stupid… I didn’t mean to hurt you more. I only wanted to help…

 

He’s mad. He’s insane. He’s getting his revenge. Rowan looks like he’s been slapped. The others aren’t much better off. They’ve gotten a taste of their own betrayal. And he wasn’t even looking for revenge.

I hadn’t known Ryo could be so hard. But when he told them to stay out of the duel, it was like his words were blows. The other Ronins stumbled back with the force of them. There has never been such rigid command in his voice. If they didn’t know how they hurt him before, they know now. The question is: what will they do with the knowledge?

 


	6. Expiation - Rowen

“This is not good.” The words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them and immediately I have the strong desire to hit myself upside the head. _Way to state the obvious there, Rowan_. But it doesn’t look like Ryo heard me. “Ryo? You okay dude?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, Rowan.” But his voice is flat and he doesn’t look at me. In fact he hasn’t looked at me since Kayura vanished. I don’t know what she said to him but if this is her fault I’m going to rip her apart, lady or no.

“You sure man?”

I see his hands convulse, as if he’s fighting to keep them open. And his voice is just as tight as his muscles when he speaks, “I’m fine.” But that is not the voice of fine. That’s… something else. Something I don’t like. He’s already walking off though. He’ll be back at the house before I catch up. But I gotta catch him. I have to.

 

That didn’t go like I planned. I went after him to try and help him and somehow we ended up arguing. Yelling at each other even though I think we were arguing for the same side. Then that bitch appeared and showed us that vision of the guys… We lost it. I don’t care if Ryo wants to gloss it over, we lost it. And we lost the battle too. She was just too damn strong. If it hadn’t been for that staff…

And still we argued. I don’t even know why. I don’t want to argue with him. I don’t! It just keeps happening. It’s like something inside me takes control of my mouth and goes after all his buttons. We’re leaving for the city soon, in an attempt to lure Tulpa’s forces to us. Annubis… the Ancient’s heir, has promised to help us when he can. Not sure what good he’ll be if he doesn’t even know what his powers are, but it feels good to have another friend on our side. Especially one that’s already saved our butts once.

We leave in an hour. Just before dark. We figure they’ll be more willing to come out and play if it looks more like ‘home’. But something’s off between us. Ryo stalks out, muttering something about being back in a little bit and something about the way he says it sets of warning bells in my heart. Something is wrong.

Mia tries to stop me from going after him but I’ve had enough. I’m either gonna find out what’s wrong or die trying. I have to run to catch up with him and it takes some effort before I do. He runs like he’s punishing himself. Maybe he is, I don’t know. But I do catch up with him and shout his name to make him stop. He does, but he still won’t look at me and that’s really starting to burn.

I say his name again and this time there’s something in my voice that gets through to him. Finally, he turns but when he does I wish he hadn’t. His eyes pierce through me like open wounds. There is a depth of pain in them which tears at me, an agony that is beyond naming. He stares at me for a moment, for some unfathomable reason letting me in, then he lowers his eyes again and shakes his dark head silently. He doesn’t speak. I’m not sure he can.

“What’s wrong, Ryo?” I try to keep my voice gentle but when he shakes his head again I feel my control slip. “Stop it! You ain’t fine! I know something’s wrong. I know it! So it ain’t no use to try and shake me off.” I take a breath to calm myself. “Lemme help you. I want to… I thought we were friends!” I hate manipulating him like this but he’s not leaving me a whole lot of choices.

“We are!” His voice is shocked as he protests, just like I knew he would.

It’s the opportunity I needed. I shove my face right up in his and yell, “Then talk ta me! Tell me what’s eating you!” I step closer, invading his space, “Let me in!”

He can’t avoid my eyes or the hurt I know is in them. We stand in our face off for a long moment before something in his eyes shatters. As he turns away again, I barely hear the words he gives me, “I can’t do this again, Rowan.” He lowers himself onto a fallen tree like an old man. “I can’t.”

I sit down hard beside him, my strength deserting me at the heartache in his voice. He looks at me again and, oh God, there are tears in his eyes! “Ryo? What do you mean buddy?” My voice is hushed with amazement or horror.

He closes his eyes tight, trying to block out the tears, screwing up his face with shame when a few escape to spite him, “It’s happening all over again.” He gulps air like it’s a rare commodity. “I can’t… I can’t!” The tears are flowing faster now, though I can see that he hates them, that he wants nothing more desperately at that moment than for them to stop.

“What? I don’t understand.” I say insistently, trying to get him to explain it to me.

He rakes his hands through his hair. “That’s just what I mean. None of you understand but it’s happening again and I just can’t do it! There’s a line… I can’t cross it again. I’d rather die.”

“What do you mean? What line?” I’m going to go mad. He’s killing himself over something but I don’t understand…

He wipes the tears away furiously, angry with himself for saying so much I bet. Then he takes a breath and starts, “Every man has a line. A line that he will not cross.” He shudders slightly, “But every man also has a price. Last time…” He coughed slightly in a futile attempt to cover the choke in his voice. Then he shook his head and changed his mind. “When I was younger, my line was betraying my parents. And my price?” A bitter laugh escaped him that I instantly hated. “Apparently my price was my survival.” He closed his eyes against the pain for a moment but his features betrayed it.

Then he gulped air and went on. “When we fought Tulpa, I was very sure what the line was: it was hurting my friends. And I was equally sure what the price was: peace for the world. And when I had to choose…” The tears are starting again and this time he makes no effort to scrub them away. “When I had to choose, I chose the price. Like it I did in the beginning. And like I’ll have to do again. Don’t you see?” He turns to me now, guilt and horror and terror, past and present, burning in his eyes. “It’s happening again. He’s getting you one by one and if I’m the only one left… IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN!!! I’ll have to chose and like every time before… The price it will be. Don’t you understand? I can’t do it again. I can’t keep crossing that line.”

I’m stunned. I don’t know what to think. I never thought before… I never realized… None of us did. We never thought what this would do to him. But what can I say? What can I say that will help him? I can’t deny what’s happening. We can see it with our own eyes. The others have been captured, one by one. I do not doubt that Tulpa will be after me next. I won’t lie to him. I won’t tell him it’s not going to happen. Because it might. I don’t want to think it will but… I wasn’t strong enough before. I can’t be sure I’ll be strong enough now. So what can I say?

In the end, I say nothing. I simply reach out and clasp his shoulder firmly with my hand. At the least, he is not alone now. I squeeze his shoulder as he finally lets the tears flow unabated. I am here for him. He knows that. And maybe, for now, that’s enough.

 

 _This is also not good._ I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I do  not like this lady. Maybe it’s the fact that every time we meet she tries to kill us, I don’t know. That might just be it.

Oh no. I shouldn’t have paused for that breather. Ryo’s gonna fire. “Ryo!!!!” My throat is already a bit hoarse from shouting but I’m not fast enough. Ryo releases the Flare Up Now. There’s nothing I can do to stop him. Kayura’s trick has worked.

Oh God, he can’t stop. She's draining his energy. Bleeding him dry. I have to stop her. She can’t take him. I won’t allow it. She will not destroy my best friend. My arrow has to work…

Thank you God, it did. But Ryo’s been weakened. He’s not even moving down there. Please, no… Don’t let him be… White Blaze is with him now. He’ll take care of Ryo. I know he will. And I promise you, my friend, she will pay for that.

 

I’m sorry, Ryo. I tried to stay with you. I tried. I’ve lasted even longer than I thought I could. I thought I was done for when Kayura and I squared off. But I survived that… to fail you now. I’m sorry. So sorry. I can’t… I’m not that strong. They’re taking me away. You are the last.

I'm sorry.

 

It’s the guys! Ryo, they’re here! They’re all down here. Cye! Kento! Sage! All three of them. They’re here. I feel you coming Ryo. But you cannot save me. And you cannot defeat Tulpa alone. It would destroy you to do that again, I understand that now. I will wake them for you. You will not be alone.

I can do this. I **must**. I have to find the strength… “Wake up! Come on, guys! Wake up! Ryo needs you! He needs us all!” My arrows leave me, taking all that’s left of my strength with them. I have to rest. I don’t have a choice. But as the blackness swallows me I can see light ahead of me. They’re awakening. “They’re coming Ryo. You won’t be alone.” I can resist no longer. I have to rest.

 

 _I’m going to kill them_. That thought is the first thing through my mind when I see Ryo after rising from the geyser. He’s so very battered. There’s only one way he could have gotten so badly damaged so quickly – if the Dark Warlords used their sure kills. One against four, without even the advanced power of the Inferno armor, what chance did he have? Rage consumes me; I am going to kill them.

 

Not this lady again. Haven’t we done this dance before? Me and a warrior, this time Sage, against what’s-her-name in the dress! This is insanity. How many times can we play the same scene over and over again?

But there is one difference now: I can feel our friends behind us. I am not alone. Was that what Ryo had felt? That awful aloneness? Was that what he was forced to endure and fight with in that last battle with Tulpa? Oh Ryo… It’s amazing that you survived.

We can’t do this. Sage and I aren't any better at this than Ryo and I were. It can’t be done this way.

Forgive me Ryo, but the task falls to you. You must vanquish this witch. We give you our strength. Save the world. You’ve done it before. You can do it again.

 

We’ve fought so hard to get here. We’ve given up so much to get to this moment. Annubis is dead, as the Ancient before him. So much has been lost…

And no one has lost more than Ryo. And yet still he fights. He has driven Tulpa down to the moat; the armor of the Wildfire has never been so strong. But it is not enough.

The Badamon is gone. We have managed to rid the world at least of him. But Kayura, God how she has changed, Kayura says that Tulpa must be destroyed here, in our world, if we are to put things right. If there is to be peace.

Only the Inferno can win. Ryo, take our strength, take everything if you must. Just finish this.

 

No! No, no, no, no, no, no! This can’t be. Ryo can’t lose. “NO!” This time I’m screaming. Tulpa can’t have him. He can’t absorb Ryo. Ryo is the best of us… And he has the Inferno. Tulpa can’t have him. But with my power in the Inferno… what can we do?

Oh my God. I see now. Ryo let himself be taken. Ryo let it happen. His goodness has frozen Tulpa where he stands. “Ryo!” I don’t care if my voice cracks. I don’t care about anything. Just let Ryo be okay. He has sacrificed so very much. Don’t make him do this.

But Ryo looks strangely peaceful despite the pain. He looks at me and I know his plan even before the word, “strike!”, leaves his lips. Suddenly I know exactly how he felt during that last battle. I can’t do it. He of all people should understand. I can’t strike him down. None of us can.

But his eyes lock with mine and what I see in them steals my breath as it ties my chests in knots that I fear are permanent. He thinks this is… He sees this as his expiation. This is his way of paying for all his failures, real or imagined. Ryo, my leader, my friend, the failure was never yours… The failure was ours. We didn’t understand. Just like you said. We never understood.

But we do now. We can all see it now. Too late.

“Hurry!” you’re calling to us. And we can see it in your eyes. You want this. You need this.

All right my friend. Have your expiation. Fine, damn us all; that is a small price to pay if it brings you any measure of peace. The tears fall unfettered. We don’t care. Let them be our homage to you. Our hero. _I don’t want to do this_. But, damn it all, the price it will be! And this time,  we will cross the line.

As I gather my power, I swear, I swear on everything on earth and in heaven that I will make sure that your sacrifice is never forgotten. I will never forget. We will do as you ask but we will never forget.

Our armor is energy now. It is our turn to sacrifice. We will give up our friend. We will give you your expiation. We will kill you. We will give up sleep forever in exchange for nightmares. Oh Ryo, how we will miss you. We need you…

As my power slices through Tulpa’s armor into his soul, I hear Ryo scream in pain. He thought he needed expiation. He was convinced of it. But he was wrong. The faults were ours. His death is on our hands. The expiation should be ours…

That is the last thought I form and then the world goes white. We’ve killed him.

But even in death, he saved the world.

  
  



	7. Salvation - Kento

We can’t say a word. Even as we watch Tulpa destruct, we can’t say a word. What can we say? We’ve just killed our best friend, our leader.

            _Why?_ I can’t seem to think of anything else but that. _Why? Why Ryo? There had to be another way._ Even as the thoughts run randomly across my brain I know it’s not true. The armor demanded a sacrifice. And Ryo…

            I’ve never cried. Never in my lifetime have I felt what tears were. I was brought up to be strong. But I’m crying now. Ryo… It’s not fair… It’s not just…

            You’ve saved us all… But we couldn’t save you. Sacrifice… Expiation… Justice…

            I’ll cry for you, buddy. I’ll cry for you.

 

            He’s alive!!! He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive!!!!! If anyone wants anything more complicated than that, they’re out of luck. He’s ALIVE! Yuli… Yuli saved him. A little kid like him saved Ryo when we… killed him.

            I can’t resist. I thump his back in joy, blushing when he winces slightly. But he’s as overjoyed as we are. Every bit as happy. And every bit as surprised. And even better, the shadows are gone. Or at least faded. Somehow, the sacrifice has given him his expiation. And his forgiveness. He’s happy. And he’s ALIVE!

 

            The Dynasty is gone. Tulpa is forever destroyed. Kayura and the Dark? Warlords (what the hay do I call them now?) have gone back to undo what Tulpa did wrong. The city is back to normal. And we’re alive.

            We’ve never been so happy. Joy. That’s what we have. Joy. Something even more than just plain happiness.

            There’s only one thing to do: baseball. It’s time to play. That Jewel will make an awful good ball…

            “Watch out everyone! I’m gonna hit that homer!!!”

            It’s going to be a beautiful day.

 

The END


End file.
